I read everything I could

Plus a few other things I've gobbled up.

Dear Subscriber,

I am so proud and baffled by your support for this newsletter — especially if you’re baffled by what it is. I’ll try not to over-explain, but:

I’ve spent the last few years toggling between building a business, growing a family, trying to establish a regular writing practice, and negging myself for not being amazing at all three. (Do people still say negging?)

Maybe you can guess what this self-generated pressure led to: Nothing! Unless you count the persistent low-grade guilt that comes along with analysis paralysis.

I think a big part of “feeling stuck” (I say that with a Life Coach Lilt) is believing you have to pick a lane (am I a business person or an artist person? What about activism and devoting my entire existence to my kids?) and go full speed. Fully commit to one life-and-career-template and don’t look back!

Turns out I’m not ambitious or disciplined enough to do any one of the following well:

• Be the poor woman’s Joan Didion for Generation Catalano

• Girlboss dangerously close to the sun

• Become a mom so selfless that she doesn’t need a silly identity

Instead I’m documenting these creative, professional, and momming whims and I hope you get something out of them too. Even if it’s an LOL at my expense. I’ll be that!

Anyway, you’ve been promised a bonus newsletter of stuff to read/other media to consume, and I vow to be more consistent with these recommendations, starting now:

BOOKS

Make Your Art No Matter What by Beth Pickens - I loved this “how-to” on starting a creative practice while toiling under late capitalism.

P.S., “Toiling under late capitalism” has become my framework for everything lately. Like, “How am I supposed to organize my kitchen pantry while toiling under late capitalism?”

My two favorite takeaways from the book:

1. Set aside one day each week as your “sabbath.” No work, no phone scrolling or texting. Do other shit like cook, hang out with your family, meet up with friends IRL instead of texting, etc.

2. Set aside one day each month as your “Personal Inventory Day.” This came from Sabrina Hersi Issa on an episode of Call Your Girlfriend and it’s so simple and brilliant. Pick a day each month, like your birthday date (easy to remember, feels celebratory) and completely block it off to review your goals, book doctor’s appointments, check your finances, etc. Basically all the important life admin stuff that’s always lingering in the back of your brain gets its very own day each month, so you can free up that mental space for everything else.

I’ve done two of these so far and now I actually look forward to the 28th of each month. (I say “actually” as if I am not an irredeemable nerd for stuff like this.) Read a little more about The Personal Inventory Day here.

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo - It’s 240 pages, feels more like 24, it’s written for 7-to-10-year-olds, and ohmyfuck it is the most beautiful, devastating, and life-affirming thing I’ve read in ages. I can’t waste any more words on it because Kate DiCamillo’s words are more perfect.

OTHER STUFF

Eating burgers and chicken and picking your nose? Congrats, you’ve entered Goblin Mode. I almost wrote a whole newsletter on this topic because I grew up in GM and consider it Default Phoebe. Now that I’m responsible for other human beings, I am constantly beating back my inner goblin. But I found a hack! I took the concept of the sabbath and blocked off time to be a total Dirtbag. It’s usually a glorious few hours on a Monday morning after school drop off but before the Zoom gauntlet begins. I set my Gobliness free. She eats cold leftover dumplings in front of the TV at 10am.

Sort of related, do you think the Indie-Sleaze-Redux-Vibe-Shift is for real? Does it matter if you are over the age of 40? Probably not, but how am I supposed to explain electro-clash fishnets to my kids on the Q train?

Another question: Are you enjoying the Season of the Scammer as much as I am? So far I’ve completed Inventing Anna and I’m up to date on WeCrashed. I just have The Dropout, Super Pumped, and Bad Vegan to go, and like an overvalued blitz-scaling unicorn, I have no intention of slowing down. DM me with your thoughts and analysis on any of the above!

Speaking of scams, I don’t know what to make of crypto. I’m also deeply skeptical of anything new, flashy, and “revolutionary.” Luckily, The Times put together this guide for crabby luddites like me.

I’ll close this out with a few other newsletters I’ve enjoyed reading lately and I’ll see you back here soon!

Everything Happened - the funniest motherhood memoir written in real time by Evie Ebert.

I haven’t followed celebrity gossip since The OC was still on air, but then I discovered I <3 Mess by Emily Kirkpatrick.

A vibe-shift from the above, Ana Andjelic writes about luxury brands and other cutting edginess in The Sociology of Business. Each issue feels like a peephole into the world of rich-smelling beautiful people and “aspiration” that’s above my pay grade, but feels worth watching.

Maker Mind by Ann-Laure Le Cunff brings a human-focused, neuroscience-based lens to the pursuit of productivity. The tools and hacks she recommends have helped me tame my own brain chaos and organize my thoughts into a mental bento box.

Ciao for now!

Love,

Phoebe